Shut Up And Choose Podcast Episode 3 – Setting REAL Goals

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Ever felt like the scale was the enemy on your health journey? I’ve been there, but after shedding 130 pounds, I discovered the true secret isn’t in the numbers—it’s in the power of choice. Join me, Jonathan Ressler, as I share my raw and unfiltered weight loss story, not with diets or pills, but by transforming small, smart choices into a lifestyle of balance and health. Get ready to redefine your goals as I introduce the idea of REAL goals—Right now, Essential, Achievable, and Livable—designed to set you on a path of sustainable personal growth.

Imagine indulging in the thrills of Vegas without the guilt of derailing your progress. In this episode, I recount a Vegas escapade to illustrate that life’s indulgences aren’t setbacks but simply choices that can be balanced with smarter decisions. I unpack the concept of REAL goals, proving that by focusing on what’s essential and immediately actionable, you can break free from the pressure of timelines. It’s an empowering discussion that invites you to own your choices and build a healthier, more present life, one smart decision at a time.

By the end of this empowering session, you’ll walk away inspired to embrace a new perspective on weight loss and personal transformation. I wrap things up with a nod to my book “Shut Up and Choose,” encouraging you to join the movement of incremental change for lasting results. And don’t forget to engage with us—I’m just a like, rating, or review away, and for more personal insights into my journey, connect with me on Instagram at jonathan_ressler_boca_raton. Remember, change starts with a single smart choice. Let’s make it together.

The Transcipt is below:

Announcer: If you’re a whiny snowflake that can’t handle the truth, is offended by the word fuck and about 37 uses of it in different forms gets ass hurt. When you hear someone speak the absolute, real and raw truth, you should leave Like right now. This is Shut Up and Choose, the podcast where we cut through the shit and get real about weight loss, life and everything in between. We get into the nitty gritty of making small, smart choices that add up to big results. From what’s on your plate to how you approach life’s challenges. We’ll explore how the simple act of choosing differently can transform your health, your mindset and your entire freaking life. So if you’re ready to cut through the bullshit and start making some real changes, then buckle up and shut up, because we’re about to choose our way to a healthier, happier life. This is Shut Up and Choose. Let’s do this Now. Your host, Jonathan Ressler.

Jonathan: Welcome to episode three of Shut Up and Choose, my podcast, where I talk about my 130-pound weight loss journey in a year and how I did it. I have to say that I did not go on any fancy diets no fad diets, no pills, no shots, no surgery. It was just through the power of choice, and in the podcast today we’re going to talk about goals and how important they are in the power of choice and how you can get the results that you really want to get with really no effort. I ate anything I wanted, I ate whenever I wanted to, and I didn’t take a single shot pill or anything else. I really did it with the power of my mind.

So, before we get into the main topic today, which is results, I want to say thank you to all the people that emailed me and called me and told me that they enjoyed the podcast, and I do want to address one issue that a listener that, honestly, I didn’t even know wrote in via email and asked me you know, can I do this thing that you did? Can I do this plan, follow this plan, make these small, small, smart choices if I only have like 15 pounds to lose? And, of course, the answer is yes. You have like 15 pounds to lose and of course the answer is yes. Um, you know, if you’re trying to lose weight, you can go on a diet, a traditional diet and you’ll lose the weight, and then you go back to your regular way of eating or the way you’ve eaten and you’re going to put the weight back on. So, of course, if you want to lose five pounds, you can do it just by making small smart choices, and you’ll continue to make those small smart choices and the weight will stay off.

I mean, I’m living proof. I’m a year and a few days into this thing. I’m down over 130 pounds. I’m still losing weight every day with absolutely no effort.

I mean truly no effort. I guess a great example of that is if you listen to my last episode. You know I was in Vegas for a few days celebrating my 60th birthday and you know I’m not going to tell you I didn’t put on a few pounds. I did, I surely did. But I came home and I started making those same small smart choices every day.

I loved eating like an animal in Vegas for a few days. I ate anything and everything I wanted, and those were the choices I made. I didn’t feel guilty about it. I don’t feel bad. I didn’t fail. I didn’t fuck up my diet because I’m not on a diet I just made those choices. And when I got back home I decided, okay, I’m going to make some small, smart choices.Speaker

And I have to say, a couple of days later, not only did I take off the few pounds that I put on when I was in Vegas, but I lost even more weight. I don’t know if that’s a thing that you got to shock your body, maybe, and give it all that shit again and then your body starts to burn more. I don’t know. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a scientist, I’m not a nutritionist. I don’t know the answer, but what I can tell you is, after eating poorly, making some, you know, not great choices, but they were the choices I made and I own it and I’m, you know, happy about it. But after doing that for a few days, here I am and I’m actually lighter than I’ve ever been. So it was, it was kind of eye opening.

I’m not sure what the answer is there, but what I can tell you that the key takeaway for me is that you can eat that junk food, if you want, and I wasn’t eating junk food, but I was eating a lot of sugar and a lot of steak and things that I do think about before I put it in my mouth. And as I was thinking about those choices in Vegas, I was like, fuck, that this is what I want to eat. It’s my birthday, I’m celebrating I’m 60. I’m at level six. I’m going to eat what I want to eat and I never felt any guilt about it. And the result was, you know, I put on a couple pounds and then I lost even more when I started making those small, smart choices. So this whole thing that I’m doing because I don’t really have a word for it I don’t call it a plan, I don’t call it a technique, I just call it, you know, making smart choices.

That that work for me in my life. And let me do this thing basically without any effort, I mean.

I’m present when I’m eating and I think about what I’m eating. But it really is not any kind of work at all. It’s just making those smart choices, the choices that I want to make at that minute. You know, and it’s working for me and it could work for you, and it could work for anybody. It really is all about just kind of being present and being aware of what you’re putting in your mouth and accepting that choice.

So for today what I really want to discuss is goals and how to set the right goals, because I’m sure if you’re you know, if you’ve been around business or you’ve, you know, read about making goals, you’ve heard of smart goals, you know that thing specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound. I mean that’s how you set a smart goal and to me, honestly, that’s a crock of shit, because that is not. I mean, yes, I guess you could, you know, make a case for it. And of course, people have made hundreds of millions of dollars teaching about smart goals. But the reality is, for me, for what I was trying to do for weight loss, I don’t really think smart goals are the right goals. They don’t set you up for success. If you want to succeed in the weight loss journey or pretty much anything else, that’s very important to you. That’s important to you.

At the time I came up with this acronym I don’t know if it means anything, but I use real goals. So before we get into what real goals are, let me just tell you about why I think the whole SMART goal thing just doesn’t work on a weight loss journey. One is it’s specific. I don’t believe that you should have a specific goal. You know, if your goal is to lose 25 pounds by you know your cousin’s wedding, that’s not a real goal because there’s a million ways that you can not hit that goal along the way. And then you kind of jump off and you say, oh well, I blew the diet or I blew you know my goal. So you know, screw it, I’m just kidding, I’ll just deal with it.

Measurable? Well, of course, measurable. We all know that the way to measure this is on the scale if you’re trying to lose weight. But again, that’s not really the main for me and for you. If you want to be successful, that shouldn’t be your main measuring stick. Achievable? Well, I don’t think that your goal, if it wasn’t achievable, you wouldn’t do it relevant you know.

well, of course it should be relevant and time bound. So that’s, that’s the T in smart. I think time bound is probably the biggest piece of smart goals that set you up for failure on a weight loss journey. If you have a weight loss goal that says I need to lose 100 pounds by X date, anytime you fall off or anytime you kind of hit a roadblock, it’s going to give you the excuse to not continue on that journey because you’re going to say, well, I could see I’m not going to make it, so screw it, or there’s no possible way I could do this by this date. And you know if you believe that, whether you believe it or you don’t you’re right, right.

So I think time bound is a really, really dangerous goal, a piece of a goal to set. So when I talk about what I used and again, when I use that, I didn’t really know that I was using it. It’s an acronym that I just kind of came up with, but I really sat down and thought about what is it that I did, or how is it that I set my goal, and and how did that work for me? So again I I just came up with this acronym called real goals and real here’s. Here’s what they are. This is what a real goal is to me. This is how I use it. So a real goal is right now. Okay, it’s got to be something you can do right now. If you put off, everybody who’s listening to this and everybody who’s done tried to accomplish or achieve anything, get any kind of meaningful results, has probably said to themselves yeah, I’m going to start this tomorrow, you know, or I’m going to start this after the holidays.

I am going to be, you know a rock a rock, but the reality is, if you don’t start it right now, it’s not a real goal, because it should be something that is so important to you that you can’t wait another minute to get started on this thing. And that’s what happened for me. On April 24th 2023. I came to a realization that I needed to do something right now, not an hour from now, not three days from now, not after the holidays, whatever that time frame was that I was going to give myself and I always gave myself. I said no, I need to start this right now, and that’s exactly what I did.

The second piece to the puzzle, the E in real goals, is essential. It has to be something that is so important to you that you can’t imagine living without accomplishing this goal, without getting the result you’re looking for. I talked before about you know I got to lose 25 pounds by my cousin’s wedding, or I want to lose, you know, but I want to look great by bathing suits. You know summer time, so I look good in a bathing suit. Those are kind of those are kind of bullshit goals. Right, you have to find the goal that means something, that really means something, not like hey, it would be great to look great. In short, you know, for the summertime. No, that’s, that’s not a real goal. You have to find something that’s essential.

So for me, at 411 pounds, my goal was to be alive. That’s a pretty fucking essential goal, right? You may not be in that position, but your goal has to be something that is very important to you. So if you’re feeling like, okay, well, I need to lose 15 pounds because I feel sluggish, well, your goal has to be something that I don’t want to feel sluggish. I want to be able to do X, y and Z, whatever those things are. Whether you want to be able to go ride your bike, whether you want to be able to run a marathon, it doesn’t matter what the goal is, but it’s got to be something that’s absolutely essential to you, that you cannot live without. It’s not something you want, it’s something you need. It’s something that you feel in your life, is absolutely critical. So it’s got to be right now and it’s got to be essential and it’s got to be achievable.

Okay, so you know, that you can’t lose 20 pounds in a week without cutting off a limb or something. So it’s got to be something that’s achievable. But I would tell you that having a number in your weight goal saying I want to lose 25 pounds, or saying I want to lose X pounds by this date, is not an achievable goal. 99 out of 100 times that’s the case. So do something that’s achievable. My goal when it came to being achievable was I want to lose weight, so I’m around and I’m living and I’m around to see my grandchildren, if I ever have them, and that’s achievable. I didn’t put a date on it. I didn’t put a time on it. In fact, the reason I didn’t put a date on it is because if my goal was to get to 300 pounds under 300 pounds, I was 411 pounds. If you told me that I had to lose 111 pounds in a certain time frame, there’s no way I could have done that. That would be an insurmountable goal. So you have to set the goal and again, I’m against the whole time frame thing, doing it by this date because there’s always going to be things that come up. There’s always going to be mistakes. For me, there were always some choices that weren’t the smartest choices. And if you hit one of those bad, know, if you hit one of those bad choices, if you hit one of those moments of weakness, it’s very easy and it’s very common to say, oh man, I blew it, so you know, I’ll start again tomorrow. No, no, you can’t start again tomorrow. You have to start with the very next choice and you may make two bad choices and that’s okay, but make the next one a good choice. So it’s got to be right now. Right, it’s got to be something that’s achievable. But I’m going to start now and I’ll know when I get to that goal. I’ll know when I’m fit. I have no number in my mind. Even today, I don’t have a number that I want to get down to. I just know that I want to keep losing weight until I feel like I’m fit and healthy, and I feel more fit and more healthy than I’ve felt in 25 years. But I know there’s more. I know that I can get fitter. I don’t know if that’s a word. I know healthier is a word. I know I can get healthier, even though I was taking eight medications when I started this thing and now I’m taking zero. I know that I can get healthier. So that’s something that I want to do and it’s achievable, right? Because I know that I’m not doing it by date and I’m not doing it, you know, for any specific reason other than I want to live, I want to be around and I want to see my grandchildren.

And your goal should be something that’s equally important to you. I mean, it doesn’t have to be to live. I understand that’s an extreme goal, but, you know, pick that goal, pick something that’s really important to you and then work toward that goal. And the last piece, in real, the L is livable. Whatever you do, it has to be livable. And this is probably the most important piece of the puzzle, right.

I mean, I told you I’m the king of yo-yo dieters. I’ve been on every diet under the sun and my contention is that diets don’t work. Well, they do work, but they’re just a short-term band-aid. They help you lose the weight, but you didn’t learn anything. All you did was take some food group out of your diet, or you’re fasting, or you’re doing something that really isn’t sustainable long-term doing something that really isn’t sustainable long-term. So when you’re doing any kind of weight loss journey, when you’re on that journey, it’s got to be livable. It’s got to be something you can live with. Nobody wants to say, oh, I can’t go out to eat with my friends, or I’m not going to eat this or that ever again.

It’s just not realistic. If you like that food, then you’re going to eat it again. I mean, there’s no two ways about that. You can tell me that you can cut something out of your life forever, but but it’s very rare, it’s very unusual that you can have you know for me like to say that I would never eat a donut again. It’s just silly. I mean, that’s not in the realm of possibilities. I mean, there’s a place in New Jersey called the Pakenac Bakery that sometimes I dream about those donuts and I was there last week and I ate some and they were every bit as delicious as I remember them and I would eat them again.

You know, that was a choice that I made and that’s why I think I was able to do this lose over 130 pounds in a year and eat anything I wanted. I also did no exercise, which you probably know at this point, but we’ll talk about that maybe in another episode but I ate anything I chose to eat and that’s what made it so easy, so effortless for me to do, because I never felt like I was depriving myself. So I mean, the L in real goals is the to me, the absolutely most essential piece of this thing. That’s why diets don’t work long-term. They’re unsustainable, they’re not livable. You just can’t live in a constant state of deprivation and torture, where you can’t eat the things that you like, where you can’t live the life that you want to live, where you’re cutting things out of your life forever. It’s just unrealistic.

When I talk about the paleo diet, like I’ve said many times, I love paleo. I mean it was great you could eat just as much. Every morning when I was on paleo, I ate a pound and a half of bacon, for lunch I had a burger and for dinner I had steak. I mean, what’s not great about that? But after a while, like I’ve told you before, I added in a piece of bread here and there, and then I added in some french fries and I was somewhat paleo and that was, you know, had to be better than what I was doing before.

But the reality is, once I started adding those things back in, I just let the bad choices stack up one after another, because the typical dieting mentality is you do it until you fail. Once you fail, you’re like ah man, fuck it, I blew that whole diet. You know what? I’ll start again tomorrow and my whole thought process on this is no, you don’t start tomorrow.

You start with the next choice, with the next thing that you put in your mouth. Be aware of what you’re putting in your mouth and your choices will guide you on. Hey, if you want to eat that, you know. For me, if I want to eat donuts, like I said, I’ll eat them, you know. And I’ll just make my next choice a better choice, a smart choice. And I proved that this week by losing all the weight that I put on when I was in Vegas and it wasn’t a lot of weight, but it was a couple pounds and I took it all off by making small, smart choices and I didn’t torture myself. I didn’t have a time in Vegas like oh man, I really wish we could go to this restaurant or that restaurant, I could eat this or eat that.Speaker

No I ate this and that I went to this restaurant or that restaurant and I ate what I wanted to eat because I knew that I wasn’t going to fail as a result of that. They were just choices that I made and I was really, really comfortable with making those choices because I knew that I could go back to making the smart choices again. So, for right now, I’m just going to eat the things that I want to eat and then, when I decide that I’ve had enough of those things, I’ll choose to make smart choices. So it really is. I know it sounds crazy, but it really is a simple, simple process to think about what you’re putting in your mouth that will help you achieve your goal. But, more importantly, putting in your mouth that will help you achieve your goal.

But, more importantly, I guess goals are important and I do believe that real goals, which are right now essential, achievable and livable, are the way to go, because they don’t set you up for failure and they don’t put a time limit on it and they don’t make you think, oh, did I blow that whole thing because I made this choice? No, they’re real goals, they’re livable goals. So you should think about that when you’re setting your goal. And again I just want to go back and say that your goals have to be important. They can’t be to lose 25 pounds by a certain date or get down to a certain weight, because you will fail. That’s a recipe for disaster, because the first time you make that bad choice you’re going to be oh man, I blew the whole thing. No, make a real goal and make sure that the L, the livable part, is the absolute most important thing you do, because if you can’t live with it, you won’t live with it and sooner or later you’ll quit.

My goals were what I told you to be around, to be alive, to be able to see my grandchildren. Those are things that were important to me and I knew I couldn’t achieve it overnight. And I didn’t have, I didn’t say, okay, well, at 300 pounds, you know, losing 111 pounds, that will make me arrive at my goal. My goal was not weight driven, it wasn’t number driven. It was to be around for my kids, to be around for my grandchildren and to be fit and healthy. And I haven’t arrived to that goal yet, but I know that when I do arrive there. Well, let me rephrase that I am fitter and healthier than I’ve been in 25 years, but I want to be even more fit and even healthier. So I don’t know what the number is. Fit and even healthier, so I don’t know what the number is. That is my goal. I don’t have a number. I have a you know kind of a mindset of I’ll know when I get there. I’ll know when I hit that goal. There’s no question I’ll know. But the journey to that goal has really been effortless and guiltless and I never feel bad if I make a bad choice, because I’m not trying to get to a number. It’s become a mindset, it’s become a lifestyle change for me. It’s something that I can live with and that’s why I think the L is so important. Your goal has to be livable.

So now, before people start losing their shit and saying, well, how do you know if you’re succeeding if you don’t use the scale? I’m not saying don’t use the scale. Use the scale. Of course that’s your measuring stick to see how you’re doing. But I would also tell you that the way you feel is also a really good measuring stick.

But absolutely use the scale. I mean, that’s just an essential tool in any weight loss journey. So, of course, use the scale, but don’t be driven by the scale. We all know our bodies fluctuate in weight every day, so the scale could drive you nuts. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I use the scale every day, multiple times a day when I was doing it because I was so you know, wound up and really wanted to see where I was going. But again, I use the scale, but it wasn’t a number on the scale. That was my goal. So make sure that you really understand your goals. Okay, and if you’re a smart goal user, you know you love those smart goals. I tell you I think you’re going to fail. I don’t think that smart goals that specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound the death knell is time-bound.

Okay, you can’t do something that’s time-bound because if you don’t make it in that time you’re going to feel like you failed and of, because if you don’t make it in that time you’re going to feel like you failed and of course you didn’t, but you’re going to feel like you did. So again, it’s real goals R-E-A-L R right now, e essential, a achievable and L livable. If you can set those goals and really think about them, not just say, okay, yeah, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, I’m done. No, you have to actually really think about them and make sure they’re relevant and important to you. But if you can use those goals and you use small smart choices, you will succeed in your weight loss journey. I’m living proof of that. So, having said all that, I do want to tell you that I am using this small smart choices thing in other areas of my life, which I will start to document in the future, because it’s not just about the weight loss journey. It’s about anything you want to accomplish. You can do with small smart choices. It’s all about results. I mean, I guess I would say this podcast is about results. I mean, of course we need to discuss the process, but it’s really about the results. You can achieve any result you want to achieve if you make small, smart choices. I mean, it’s all about the little choices. You are where you are today, financially, emotionally, in your love life and with your weight because of the choices you made. It’s on you, it’s your fault. It’s your fault if you’re not happy with where you are. But again, the great news is you can change it all just by making small, smart choices. Your mind is so powerful. It can bring you wherever you want to go, and it’s not about your circumstances that’s bullshit. It’s about the choices you have made and you continue to make. So if there’s something in your life that you want to change, it’s small, smart choices that are going to get you to where you want to be. So that kind of brings me to the end of my thought on goals A little shameless self-promotion.

Again, you can buy my book on Amazon. It’s called Shut Up and Choose, same as the podcast. I would love it if you bought it. I would love it if you gave me a review, an honest review. You can also email me and let me know what you think of the podcast. I said last time that I wouldn’t listen to what people say, but I got an email and I felt like I needed to address it, and that was the email about can I do this, while I only have to lose 10 pounds? And the answer is, of course, not only can you do it, but you should do it, because not only will you lose the 10 pounds, you may lose more, but, more importantly, you’ll be able to maintain it if you just get yourself into this. You know small, smart choices thing. So that’s it for today. Again, send me your email, send me your comments, good or bad. I’d love to hear them and I look forward to seeing you next week.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to shut up and choose. Jonathan’s passion is to share his journey of shedding 130 pounds in less than a year without any of the usual gimmicks no diets, no pills. And we’ll let you in on a little secret no fucking gym. And guess what? You can do it too. We hope you enjoyed the show. We had a fucking blast. If you did, make sure to like, rate and review. We’ll be back soon, but in the meantime, find jonathan on instagram at jonathan wrestler boca raton. Until next time, shut up and choose.